But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
You refused to get in the cab so we rock paper scissored to decide who walked you home and the fat guy was it. So don't blame your poor hook-up choice on me; it was all you.
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
When was the last time you made a good decision when you could've made a shitty one
I had a salad today
Screwed a girl without a condom but hey at least you got your veggies
I don't understand why she gets annoyed by my drunk texts. It means she's who I'm thinking about even when my brain isn't functioning properly.
I smoked that joint really fast and now I'm so high I'm crawling around on all 4 giving my dogs piggie back rides pretending its the macy day parade for dogs and I'm their giant human float.
Sorry I didn't answer your call last night, I was peeing on the driveway.
She flashed them and they let her pay with Monopoly money. I'm married, so it is your obligation as my best man to repeatedly fuck her for me
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
Randomize
