Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
Ultimate cock block. About to have sex and your mom calls you so you can go help your grandmother figure out how to vote for the voice on her iPad
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
I texted him: “Come over for the Super Bowl. I promise lots of scoring.”
My divorce is turning into a porn script
Randomize
