she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
I will not be a drunk bitch. I will not be a drunk bitch. Chanting this until it's second nature.
Drinking in moderation can be fun. Drinking in moderation can be fun. Chanting this until it becomes true.
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
I feel like it should at least be like a "hey look I'm actually fine that I drunkenly gave you my virginity!" friend request.
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
Randomize
