just come out here and I will go home with you...
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
Alan said you can come over and eat me out anytime you want, as long as we give him enough notice to hide in the closet before we arrive
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