But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
Have you ever looked at the 750mL bottle of wine on the seat next to you knowing that it's just not going to be enough?
Each and every day.
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
I don't remember because I was drunk out of my mind, but I have it on good authority that weed cinnamon buns at 3 in the morning with chocolate milk are better than sex.
Ten minute nap on a staircase honey badger don't care
I love you. Mom got to wasted at the wedding that she threw up on my shirt.
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
Randomize
