school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
I accidentally asked my mom for a blowjob because 'mom' and 'molly' are next to each other in my address book.
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
Are you alive?
I googled "I don't want to vomit anymore," and "how to rip out your uvula," at 9 am this morning, but I'm still here. Uvula and all.
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
Was reaching for my vibrator this morning out of my nightstand and strained my neck muscle. I'm getting so old.
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
If you’re wondering why the bong is outside the garage door just know I was being environmentally efficient by not using the freezer to chill my shit
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
There is a baby in my apartment. What the fuck happened last night?
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
Randomize
