You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
the party we crashed was not a party. the party we crashed was jens grandads funeral.
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
Life is my bitch right now. The bouncers tried to carry me out of the club, but everyone thought I was crowd surfing so everyone carried me BACK IN. Winning as fuck.
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
Randomize
