can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
Whats the glycemic index on semen?
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
He took a girl home at like eight, fucked her, kicked her out, came back to the bar, and repeated the process again at 10:30 and 2:30. THREE GIRLS IN ONE NIGHT. ALL PICKUPS. I HATE HIM.
Our lives are a motherfucking joke
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
So drunk me is not subtlety trying to get her boss to cheat on her husband and have a lesbian affair with me. Sober me is ok with that.
Getting a smaller wine glass hasn’t changed the amount I drink—it just means I get more steps each day. Cheers to health!
Randomize