Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
Found your dick twin last night
Just me. You're probably having sex with her right now, so here's a reminder that you should be thinking of me per our agreement.
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
You know you drink too much when the bartender at your favorite bar recognizes you at chipotle with your sunglasses on.
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
Randomize
