I bet he comes in French.
if I'm ever single again, I swear to god I'm going to have 87 venerial diseases
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
She keeps sending, "show me your elephant trunk."
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
It's not so much that I'm giving her money because I threw up on her floor. It's more like I'm paying her to never ever mention it again.
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
You will never be paid again to get drunk and tell off cops without being arrested. Once in a lifetime opportunity
You're right. Fuck my job. I'm in.
I have lots of feelings today, but drunk is my favorite.
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
You're always so late and I'm always so drunk.
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
Randomize
