how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
I told her I'd give her some of the cream I was using so she didn't get my warts. That's when I realized I was too drunk.
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
You know I've done a lot of messed up stuff. But I never thought I would have to put a bandaid on my dick. Yet here we are.
I just woke up to my family in the living room watching our security camera tape of me last night talking to a stop sign in our backyard... How the fuck did I get that in the yard?
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
Randomize
