Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
A hard boiled egg and a shot of tequila is not brunch.
Is it because I queefed?
I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
my mom found me passed out in the kitchen floor with the Brita pitcher.. Happy Mothers Day
I feel like my map app knows I'm hungover and is strategically not driving me by fast food places so I cannot stop
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
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