Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
please come you make the beer taste better
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
You convinced me that eggnog and rum is a great moisturizer.
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
Well, I guess my plans of staying around the apartment and drinking my weight in boxed wine are ruined. I have a date tonight.
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
Randomize
