covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
o shit let me call u back theres a hamburger in my pocket
I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
I accidentally requested the ides of march off instead of st patricks day. Is this an omen? will alcohol be my brutus?
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
The dick lei will go down in squad history
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
There is a guy down by the river wearing a zebra print speedo and a sombrero, with a beer in each hand, screaming "This is America bitches!"
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
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