so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
Fuck morning classes. Fuck early work. Fuck anything in the morning that doesn't involve sleeping, sex or bacon.
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
I just found out two girls I dated met each other, bonded over how much they hate me, started dating and are gonna get married soon.
just got a call from a life insurance sellsperson and apparently our xany dealer referenced us. not cool thats breaking the 4th wall
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
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