perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
Eating a muffin with a knife and fork. Hangovers have hit a new low.
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
my hip hurts so fuckin bad. and I just found a half eaten burrito in my nightstand drawer.
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
None of these texts make sense. except for "step 2.5 equals velociraptor." that i get.
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
Randomize
