ya dads aren't the best wingmen
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
The coffee and champagne are fighting over who gets to absorb the one pancake in my stomach
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
I'm surprised, it's been so long you must be starving
At a certain point, the zombie-like hunger goes away. Then the sadness sets in. Then you start lying to yourself that you're taking some "me time." Then you remember you dodged chlamydia and Buddha knows what else. Then you're at peace with it.
You HAVE to stop telling me about the shit you do drunk. I can't be both your brother AND your gay friend.
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
I look forward to getting really drunk tonight and startling some rando’s mother tomorrow morning while she’s up early making a turkey
It’s a holiday tradition at this point
Randomize
