I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
Tomorrow, if I don't look at least 5% better than I do on a regular day to day basis, I want you to hit me and tell me that no one will ever love me if I continue to look like I just rolled out of a cocaine induced hibernation. I'm asking you for tough love.
I have a present for you
Like a legit gift, not just me showing up and getting naked
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
I made it to work. Still drunk. Definitely pregnant.
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
I woke up this morning to find myself laying in a beer puddle with "I'm sorry" written on the shaft of my dick and Nicole was nowhere to be found. Gotta love her
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