C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
I am in the bathroom at work, pooing while eating pretzels. Hungover Fridays are in full effect
Why does your place smell like gin and misery?
I prefer to think of it as 'ode to single life'
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
It's almost 5am and all I can keep thinking is IT'S WHISKEY TIME!!
Randomize