I just saw a hobo shake a payphone until it spat out a bunch of quarters. what a champ.
Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
Every time he makes fun of me for anything I just remind myself he ate ice cream out of a strippers vagina
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
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