New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
you wouldn't stop saying "oil can" in the tin man voice until I gave you back your flask
He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
I told the cop to try walking in heels and he'd understand why I was walking home without then on. He told me he only does that on Wednesdays.
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
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