im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
You left your underwear on the fireplace
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
"Work from home" is code for "morning drinks" right?
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
just like fucking own it. stare that cop in the eye and just keep masturbating "yeah motherfucker Im high as shit and this feels great"
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize