I just found a frying pan...in my bed.
Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
Just did a line with a monopoly bill. Tell me I'm not fancy.
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
I've started budgeting for next year. It looks like I'll be crying tears of dollar bills and handing them over to pay back my unholy college debt.
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
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