I think i peed on brittanys purse
im pretty sure i just saw someone trying to catch a fish with his penis
He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
You should hear the lecture my mom just gave me about cooking pizzas when im drunk because "I could have died".
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
Randomize
