let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
There is nothing more embarrassing than your birth control alarm going off while in a meeting with your boss and they tell you to take it.
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
Turns out he has a 6pack too. Alright adorable snapchatting manwhore dude, you win.
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
I woke up on a park bench with a nice homeless guy waking me up. I bought us Carl's Jr. Best birthday ever!
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
Randomize
