We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
We've been friends for six months, when do my benefits kick in?
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
I caught her walking around with a fake mustache, wearing a sombrero and holding an empty carton of milk. She's a hopeless cause.
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
Apparently I thought every drink in my house needed to have a buddy so I put some vodka in each one. Long story short being wasted at work because the gatorade you brought is 60% liqour is not a great idea.
I'm at the fucking ritz Carlton and I would leave here to cuddle with her. Not even fuck, just cuddle. What th hell is wrong with me?
I think it's called love, bro
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