You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
what has become of my life if the best thing thats happened to me this week is that i discovered my cleavage as the best hiding spot ever for weed.
Remember when we did the egg drop from the Dyson building? Her vag is like that, except with a ham, and the ham doesn't make it. I'll be back to the apartment in ten.
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
New game I thought of while bored on the train. Anytime I get a text from an ex, I will randomly text a different ex. It's like a less charitable version of pay it forward.
I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me
Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
Randomize
