$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
We couldn't find her anywhere. Finally, I saw her sitting in my bathroom floor spraying hair mouse into her mouth and whispering "I fucking love whipped cream." WHAT DID YOU GIVE HER AND CAN I HAVE SOME?
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