what the fuck were we smoking when we had a conversation about how my brother would be so proud if i fucked an orange alien?!?
I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
Over 50% of the drunkest nights I have ever had began with me saying "I'll just drink my dinner" to you.
The squirrels are partying on my roof again. Now they're just rubbing it in that I'm home alone on a Saturday night and they're having orgies.
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
I haven't been drunk for four days and just realized I haven't taken a shit for three. This can't be healthy.
Which part?
Randomize
