Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
Every single person in NY is either baking, drinking, or photographing their cat. Reporting live from Instagram.
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
I feel like him using the excuse "I'm not a fan of lying" to stop me from sleeping around is hypocritical since he's cheating on his wife with me.
Puked up breakfast after doing my first minze shot in a while, but that shot was to Trump losing the election, so it's all good.
Randomize