Condoms? Check. Glitter? Check. Fuck me pumps? Double check. Dignity? No where to be found. I'm about to homewreck the shit out of that dumb bitch.
I've been meaning to talk to you about your lack of self-respect these days and the toll it's taking on your vagina.
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
New policy: when a woman uses the word blowjob in a sentence within 5 minutes of meeting her, you buy her a drink.
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
Did you go to church in Texas and sign me up?
You need southern Jesus
At Walgreens. I'm getting condoms and a bottle of water so that I'm not "just getting condoms". I don't think I'm fooling anyone though.
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
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