This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
you know what scares the shit out of me? i have eaten bagel bites since i was a little kid and just in the past five years they started puting "made with real cheese" WHAT THE FUCK WERE THEY USING BEFORE? i mean ive been a bagel biter since the womb
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
i just remembered that i did the "single ladies" dance ON THE BAR...fuck you slippery nipples i curse the day i discovered you
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
Banged my ex-wife last night...so I belong to that club now.
To me, you're the Patron Saint of good music and handjobs
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
you are singlehandedly the most cursed object the universe ever conceived
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