Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
note to self: an IV pole is no substitute for a stripper pole. Written it on my ankle cast.
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
I am more familiar with your toilet than I ever want to be with any appliance
I don't know what to be prouder of: the fact that last night i was able to successfully find my way home from evanston with 3-d glasses on, or that i was able to make my way around my house in the dark with my pants around my ankles
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
I convinced a shit ton of people I was a russian foreign exchange student to get free drinks. I knew learning those accents would come in handy.
The woman that sang I Touch Myself died today. There's only one appropriate way to honor her memory.
I'm on the job.
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
Randomize
