We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
My niece just threw up all over me. My sister's breastmilk was on my face. This is like a fucked-up porno gone terribly wrong.
Hippo gnu deer
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
decision: in honor of being in new orleans this weekend all my drunk texts will be en francais
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
Dude you're alone at a bar with a woman, and you're talking about my junk?
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
Like an undercooked grilled cheese that got cold again. But hairy.
And there goes my desire for sandwiches. Forever.
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
No one needs to know about the barren wasteland that is my vag. Sometimes i visualize my cervix rocking back and forth wondering where everybody went.
I just pictured that. It's reading a book.
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
Randomize
