I woke up with my face in a pile of pancakes and 3000 mistakes.
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
I want you to come over here and spit coffee in my mouth like a momma bird feeding a baby bird. That hung over.
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
The FEDEX guy just cock blocked me by getting his van stuck in my driveway
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