I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
He's doing the 1:45AM lap: he goes around the bar, finds the hottest crying girl 15 minutes before close, and brings her home. I would feel bad for the girls if it wasn't such incredible genius.
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
Dont be alarmed when you find the maintenance guy passed out on your couch. I didn't to explain why I was there so I offered him a drink, I dont know what happened after that.....
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
That works. I won't care. I'll be a mermaid. Mermaids don't give a fuck.
Especially drunk mermaids.
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
Randomize
