Me too!
wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
Reason #84 I'm on my way to becoming a crazy cat lady: I called the police last night because I heard a noise and the cats were acting funny like they were trying to tell me something. The 3rd time the dispatcher repeated "the cats are acting funny?" I yelled and told her to have an officer ask the cats what happened.
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
You can't just leave with hair like that
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
Y'all let us switch shirts in the middle of 200 people....why did you let me get this drunk by noon?
Randomize
