my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
I made out with the bride. You tell me how my night was
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
On another note, convinced a 9 year old my hickey was actually a zombie bite.
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
I feel like it should at least be like a "hey look I'm actually fine that I drunkenly gave you my virginity!" friend request.
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
Randomize
