My sole motivation for showering this morning was to masturbate. Something is wrong here...
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
His nipple licking is glorious
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