oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
we were at work and Infront of the whole bar you yelled. "JAKE I WANNA GET FUCKED TONIGHT!" Us day drinking > everyone else
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
I'm just sitting here drunk and eating peas because my life sucks
YOUR TO-DO SEX LIST CANNOT CONSIST ENTIRELY OF MY THREE BEST FRIENDS
and their significant others
AND THEIR SIGNIFICANT OTHERS
why is half of my head shaved?
Any chance he has an open marriage? That penis shouldn’t be wasted on one woman. It should be shared with all womankind, or at least me. I’m too good at sex to be deprived a penis that large
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
Randomize
