I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
On a scale of "impaired judgement" to "Mel Gibson," how drunk are you?
Toaster
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
You forget how awesome toilet paper is until you have to wipe your ass with a piece of notebook paper...
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
It finally happened. Some guy just tried to catfish me with my own dick pic. Of course I told him that it was the hottest dick I'd ever seen and that I would do anything for that particular dick.
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
Randomize
