what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
so, my congressman just called me to say he has office hours this week if i'm still interested in talking to him. i pray to god this is not related to Friday.
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
He started telling people I was Stephen Hawking's son. When that didnt fly he switched to Tony Romo's cousin
i'm pretty sure i saw my life flash before my eyes when we ran a red light. i continued to drink and be the drunk backseat driver.
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
I sexy timed too hard and there is an ass shaped piece of a ping pong table now missing bc of it. How am I allowed to leave the house without a helmet?
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
Yeah, but I think it would be a little awkward to explain to Mom that the girl I brought for lunch is not my girlfriend but just a fuck buddy who I met after she hit and totaled my car last month.
if a CSI technician examined our hotel room with a black light he'd think we hit the Pulse button a DNA blender without a lid
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
Randomize