And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
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