If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
Just watched a drug bust from the Ralphs parking lot while listening to Frank Sinatra. Happy Valentine's Day.
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
Woke up this morning with Nerf Bullets stuck to everything in my house and nut in my belly button. What exactly happened last night?
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
Randomize
