Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
apparently i peed in my fridge last night because my vegetable drawer was filled with it.
you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
I know I know. I considered playing it sober but after I typed out IS SHE A GENIE? I knew it was impossible to hide.
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
Cancelling your gym membership calls for alcohol.
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
Randomize
