talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
Breakfast of vicodin and eggs out of a solo cup at about three in the afternoon on a wednesday...I have my life together
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
You were demanding water from a bottle but I didn't have one..so I just took the water bottle from the hamster cage. You're welcome.
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
I walked in on him pumping himself up by headbanging to the drumbeat from Jumanji.
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
Randomize
