The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
Just had an old man tip me two dollars and say "here put this in your baby fund, you'll have a baby someday" I swear this is gods way of saying GET ON BIRTH CONTROL NOW!
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
Accomplishment of the day: changing my tampon at 38,000 ft with turbulence. Fasten seatbelt sign was definitely on.
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