one might say we're banned from that church
So we were in the middle of hooking up when he stopped me. I thought he was having a moral dilemma about the whole having a girlfriend thing. But no. He got down on all fours, butt naked, and started throwing up and farting simultaneously. I took it as my cue to leave.
she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
So it took me 20 minutes to figure out that this is the wrong blind date. I'm going to go with it, he's cute and at least it's free beer.
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
i need to put some appletini on your dick
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
Randomize
