My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
it only takes four glasses of wine for me to ride an elephant with a stranger.
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
Who knew there were so many rules and judgements about laying on a kitchen floor. I'm all like I'm resting. It just happens to be on a kitchen floor.
how do you play pong handcuffed?
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
Tinder in Coventry is like browsing a gallery of mugshots from Azkaban
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
Randomize
