I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
What tipped you off? The sombrero?
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
Now that I'm single, I like to think of myself as in a relationship with Taco Bell.
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
You are lucky that I'm drunk. Otherwise I would bone you into another universe
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
I told him I thought I was pregnant and he told me he accidentally killed my bird.
Circle of life.
Randomize
