have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
That blackeyed peas song was on, so I thought that was prediciting tonight was going to be a good night. And then my garage door opner fell and hit me in the head.
I literally just copy and pasted that from another bbm convo bc I'm far too stoned to explain that again.
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
I love you, but seriously, that was way too long a thesis on an Arby’s curly fry being wrapped around schlong!
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