1:57 a.m. Where did you go???
1:58 a.m. What are you doing? I want to go home with you, why aren't you responding?
2:11 a.m. Heading back to your place now, will you let me in?
Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
4 words: hood of his car
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
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