The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
Randomize
