The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
She left me a voicemail too. It's just her moaning her name repeatedly
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
This girl just texted me asking me to drop her cheese. What the fuck for that mean?
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
Life isn't about who you kiss, drunk, at midnight. It's who you text nonsense to, sober, from the toilet.
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
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