shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
For Halloween this year I'm gonna go as Angelina from Jersey Shore. I'm gonna yell "umm HELLO?!," cockblock someone, then leave the party early
Being this Hungover on Easter has brought my closer to Jesus... I swear he had to feel shitty like this after coming back from the dead
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
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