Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
I forgot my backup drink is supposed to be pedialyte and vodka. Add in the shit I'm losing as I drink. Win-Win right?
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
We were both too drunk to drive home. So we did it in the coat closet and then I walked home. 20/20 hindsight: Could have both walked to my apartment and then had sex there.
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
Randomize