I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
i woke up with 5 inch heels locked on my feet and my car keys missing. this is gonna be an interesting walk home
At this point all my Tinder matches are telling me I'll be fucking the whole male population of UMass '17.
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
The last time I saw you you got angry and yelled "WHISKEY DOESNT COUNT" ... I think that's at least a 7 on the hotmess scale.
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
Randomize
