My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
She broke up with me after I spent the whole day speaking in nothing but Marshawn Lynch quotes.
He's 30 years old and woke me up for a hand job. Last time I go home with someone I met through Tinder.
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
This is why I should’ve just stuck with blow jobs. I’m good at blow jobs. Blow jobs never fail me.
Randomize
