Why did that cocktail waitress get to sleep with Tiger for 2 years, and all I ever got for living in Whorelando for five years is a couple of pictures with Joey Fatone
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
My chemistry professor just asked me if I ever found a ride home from the bar last Saturday
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
A stranger just came up to me and asked why I hadn't texted him, and if he was just a one night stand. I live for these moments.
So I found the perfect "Yeah I gained weight since high school but it went to all the right places" outfit for the reunion this weekend.
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
Randomize
