Having a random hookup so left but love u
I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
A girl told me I was her "alcohol spirit animal" tonight. Somehow I think my whole life was secretly building up to this moment
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
We both fell asleep mid-handjob and he continued to call it "handjob halftime".
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
Randomize
