I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
Most fantastic sex ever until her Doberman took an interest in what we were doing. There was nothing more terrifying then feeling warm dog breath on my ballsack.
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
I was stalking his twitter and saw that he used punctuation in a hashtag. Thank god we didn't work out because I can't be with someone that incompetent
I found more straws in my beard this morning. Please stop doing that.
I accidentally sent my dad a very explicit Star Wars fanfiction and he replied with "That was great!"
Randomize