Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
You still owe me one bodily function mess clean up.
You pee on the floor one time and you never hear the end of it...
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
Randomize
