girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
Just watched a drug bust from the Ralphs parking lot while listening to Frank Sinatra. Happy Valentine's Day.
Dude your neighbors are having a garage sale. They were judging me as I walk of shamed back to my car.
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
Hi I am on my way. I stopped and got the cheeseburger you asked for. Are you gonna pay me back?
Who is this?
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
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