3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
The sigh of relief when u realize none of your drunk texts will result in permanent damage
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
I have this rep as a wingman for a reason. I'm like a poon caddy. "You might want to use a 9 iron on this hole. "
I'm out of milk so I'm dunking my Oreos in Bailey's; this is my life now.
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
Randomize
