I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
Well, when he's back from China he's probably gonna be pissed I used the spare key he gave me to prove to everyone I'm fucking an NBA player. We took all his booze too.
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
How on earth did you break your wrist?
I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing
btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
All my friends are getting married and I'm pole dancing in a tattoo shop. I don't know how I feel about this.
They spent thousands on one day. You made $76 in 30 minutes. You should feel great about that.
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
Where are you guys?
Drunk
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
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