But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
i just woke up i smell like fire, i have bruises on both knees and one elbow, i have a lighter and nip of smirnoff blueberry in my bed, rug burn on one hip and about 12 pics of you and me on my camera-this needs to stop happening
yea ive got to shower which is going to be painful given the skin burns from the blowup obstacle course races last night
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
captain cockblock got me again last night so i put a squirrel in his room and jamed the door shut
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
You were too drunk yesterday to deal with me crying so I am too drunk to deal with logic.
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
Randomize
