I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
Just tried my new showerhead. Sex with Brian will never be the same.
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
You kept trying to hail an ambulance
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
Asking for a friend: is it frowned upon to eat pizza while you materbate or does it just mean you are fantastic at multitasking?
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
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