By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
come over after work tomorrow, liz and i will make all of your wildest dreams come true. so long as your wildest dreams involve drinking champagne at my house with two girls who won't have sex with you.
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
Randomize
