I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
Just had a stripper snatch my glasses off my face with her ass
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
You slept with a red coat way too close to independence day. It's just very unpatriotic.
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
You know you have done too many drugs when you gum the sugar off your margarita without even thinking twice
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
There's some band that practices next door to my apartment. I'm thinking we may need to check that out. I could be like, "Hey boys, thought you might like some lemonade and vagina."
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
Randomize
