You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
She's pissed. She declared she was moving out and proceeded to pack 3 pairs of shoes, her electric wine opener and ONE sock. Then told us to have fun paying her portion of the rent.
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
I think my multiple attempts of taking his life, no matter how unintentional they were, has put a damper on our friendship
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
You can't Tinder AND have him bring you icecream in the same night. It messes with your vagina.
That sad moment when the drawer I used to keep condoms in now has poptarts in it..
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
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